The Three Wise Men

So here's the story of the Three Wise Men.

Dave'n'Kathy woke up Monday morning, realizing that it had not been a bad dream, but indeed they were still boondocking at the back of Hidden Springs Campground, with Great White and the as-yet-unnamed 5th wheel trailer stuck in the mud.  Around 7am we called our emergency roadside service and by 8:35, these two unnamed dudes in big towtrucks showed up, and indicated by the snarl in their lips and their unintelligble grunts that they already knew we were idiots and that this would be a debacle.  So we led them down the camp road to our rigs and, in their own country way, confirmed that their suspicions were correct.

With this, a hellacious, furious storm of activity was unleased, and they whipped out chains, hooks, cranks and winches.  After excoriating us, "Don't you know that you NEVER unhitch your truck from your trailer if they're in trouble!?!" they proceeded to yank our 15,000 lb. truck out of the mud and straightened it out and had David back it under the trailer hitch.  We hitched!  Unfortunately, this was just the beginning.

I should take a moment to describe for you the Three Wise Men.  Chuck is the first Wise Man.  He was the one we encountered as we drove in dismay to the back of the wrong campground.  He handles maintenance and lawn mowing.  He's a retired big rig truck driver (little did we know how significant that would become).  Chuck took us under his wing and let us set up our rig for the previous night on Sunday, and greeted us in the morning with the most solicitous, "Did ya call 'em yet? Ya can start the generator if ya want."  More musical words never were spoken.  Frank was the Second Wise Man.  Frank owns the campground.  Chuck called Frank once Chuck realized we were in desperate straits (Kathy says, "Deep Doo Doo").  Frank hustled over Sunday night and supervised Chuck's vain attempts to yank our 15,000 lb. truck out of the mud with his little Ford F150.  Frank said we could stay the night for $20, but he really didn't want to take any money from us.  We didn't meet the Third Wise Man until this morning.  His name is Rick.  He's a local fisherman who has an RV at the campground, and he couldn't resist coming over and kibitzing.  However, Rick proved to be most helpful and calming with his suggestions.

We've decided that in this Mythology of the Open Road, the Three Wise Men deserve places of great honor. They stuck with us through thick and thin all morning, as the Doleful Twosome yanked and hauled and cursed and scolded us.  Eventually, the Twosome became a Onesome as the second got another emergency tow call.  Onesome tried everything he could think of.  Eventually, he hooked the back of our truck to his winch and pulled our truck, which pushed our RV, up out of the mud - BUT NOT ALL THE WAY.  We fishtailed and got stuck.  So now it got down to the shortest of short strokes.  Onesome pulled out the final trick in his bag.  He said he was going to have to winch the rear of the trailer and haul the truck and trailed out from the trailer's hitch.  Mind you, this trailer hitch is rated for 3,500 lbs., and the combined weight of the two monsters is about 31,000 lbs.  Kathy and I turned white, but we knew his wisdom and agreed.

Haul.  Winch.  Creak.  Groan.  Slide the wheels sideway.  Crunch the bike rack (but don't worry, it wasn't harmed).  And we slid sideways up onto the road, without cracking the frame of our RV.  Great White heaved a sigh of relief.  At this point, Onesome told us we were on our own, and we had to figure out how to BACK THAT CONTRAPTION OUT OF THE CAMPGROUND.  Accepting the inevitable, we agreed, paid him off, and sent him on his way.  I should remark, however, that in fact, we were tremendously grateful to him, and you could see the relief on his face, as we all realized that he hadn't destroyed our RV in saving it.

Now down to the real business.  Onesome left around 10:30.  Now Kathy and Dave and the Three Wise Men worked on backing the rig out of the campground.  I won't bore you with the technical details, but we moved about 3 inches an hour, it seemed, dodged one stump, three BIG trees, and three RV canopy frames - and that got us only halfway out of the campground.  Finally, Chuck (remember, he of the big rigs) finally could contain frustration no longer, and asked Kathy if David's ego would prevent David from letting Chuck do the driving.  "No way! Go for it, Chuck!"  So Chuck took the wheel and, as smooth as butter, that monster contraption eased its ways out of the campground, onto the road, across the road, and eased into position, and Chuck simply said, "Now you're on the open road!"  David wanted to pay Chuck for his efforts, but Chuck refused.  Frank took David aside and recounted to him how Frank had taken Chuck in after Chuck's retirement.  Chuck had been in ill health and penniless and Frank just gave him a home and a job.  David asked Frank if Frank would take money to help continue to care for Chuck, and Frank agreed.  There were also huge hugs among manly men, not to mention a sense of accomplishment.

Remember Rick?  He guided everyone past those stumps, trees and canopies.  Kathy offered him a big beer and he graciously accepted.

Chuck led us out to THE CORRECT CAMPGROUND, and we bade him goodbye.  As we thought about the whole experience around the campfire this evening, we decided to christen the 5th wheel trailer, "Chuck" in honor of that man of few words, infinite patience and unimaginable big rig skills who save the rig from permanent Purgatory in Hidden Springs Campground.

Here here, Chuck, and here's to the Three Wise Men.  We toast you as we enjoy our campfire and our anticipated dinner of grilled Ahi Tuna steak and veggies, as we gaze upon Great White the truck and Chuck the trailer and continue discovering the Mythology of the Open Road.